I Need A New Title

I'm a Stay at Home Dad.  I've always hated telling people that, it sounds so PC.  What the hell is a Stay at Home Dad?  Why not just say you're a loser who hasn't been able to get a job, that's what people think why not just say it?  "Hello, I"m Dean.  Before you ask what I do for a living let me just say up front, nothing.  Not a damn thing, everyday I wake up with a smile and nothing to do.  I'm a lazy Man without initiative who has nothing in common with the rest of you who work everyday to earn a paycheck and support your family.  Now that's how to start a conversation!  It saves all of us the uncomfortable position of asking a Man what he does for a living then starring blankly at him because you don't know how to respond when he tells you he's "A Stay at Home Dad".  Society has never placed any value on anyone who stays home, be it male or female.  Sure it's more accepted if a Woman chooses to take care of the house and family.  But "real" Men would never choose that roll.  "It's Women's work and they're good at it."  (not that there's ever been any monetary value put on it)

Lets face it, Hallmark knows our rolls in life.  There's Mother's Day; a day to celebrate all the women who keep our families together, organized and happy.  There's Father's Day; a day to celebrate the words of wisdom and the fun we've managed to have despite his never having enough time.  But there's no section for "Stay at Home Dads Day"  There's no Holiday, that doesn't exist, what would the card say:

For The GREATEST Stay At Home Dad In The WORLD!

For a Father who knows how to cook a mean meal

For a Dad who always thinks I'm a big deal

For a Husband who now wants EVEN MORE sex

We want you to know you're not worthless...

despite what other people say.

HAPPY STAY AT HOME DAD'S DAY!

So if Hallmark doesn't have it then it must not exist.  I can't be A Stay At Home Dad so what am I?

I chose to sell my business 6 years ago so I could have a direct impact on my son and wife.  I've always thought of him as my "marker" in this world.  He's what I'm leaving behind to make his surroundings and those of others better.  I wanted to take the pressure off my wife who is still working long and hard to support our life and lifestyle.  Since we married she was by far the big bread winner.  Her industry has a much higher pay scale so we both didn't need to work.  We chose, as a couple, to have me take on the traditional role of a Stay At Home Parent and not pay someone else to raise our son.

I feel lucky to have the opportunity to make a difference, as a man, in a non traditional family.  I also feel enormous pressure knowing I may ultimately be defined as less of a man due to my lack of title.  Men need jobs to give them purpose.  Women need their men to have jobs so they have "value" in their eyes.  When asked: "What does your husband do"? They need something to brag about, a title or image to elevate the family position.  Stay At Home Dad, I've learned, is not a good title.  It doesn't have value to men or women.  It's viewed as a trumped up title for a man who can't or won't work.

I need a title, something to brag about, a clearly defined image that's respected and appreciated by both Men and Women.   So here they are, 2-titles that best describe what I do.  When uttered they immediately give the image of success, happiness and family.  Drum roll please...I've decided on  "Father" and "Husband" maybe someday those will be enough to answer the question: "So Dean what do you do?"